Historically I am not what you would call a good loner. I don’t crave alone time, solitude, or long quiet moments to myself. I am a social person in general, but I am probably my happiest when I’m spending quality time just with my husband, or one really good friend or family member. I think this might have a lot to do with sharing the womb with my twin. I am half of a whole, and when I’m left alone to my own devices I feel unnatural. Unfortunately I am alone a lot in Tucson, and it’s even more unfortunate that I have started watching television to drown out my loneliness. I think television is without a doubt the worst contraption mankind has ever devised. It is nothing but noise, product placement, noise, flashing lights, “BUY THIS BUY THIS BUY THIS” and more noise. Sure there is some entertainment to be found, but in the end it is not worth it. I must work harder to avoid flopping on the couch and turning on the boob tube when I’m feeling bored.
I am an adventurer (as you all know), but I am not typically a solo-flyer. My sister and I went to Israel together. I lived in Honduras with 15 of my fellow classmates. Andrew and I went on our epic road trip. But seldom do I step out on a limb and go adventuring alone. One of the few times I did do this I was lucky enough to meet Andrew. So this morning I woke up and decided to take a “Micha Day” outside in nature. I packed up some snacks, some water, and a camera and headed up the hillside to Catalina State Park, which is only a few miles away from my grandmother’s house. I spent several hours hiking up to some pools in the high desert. The weather was sunny and cool, and absolutely perfect for hiking. I saw cacti, palo verde trees, shrubs, rocks, lots of small birds, an adorable gopher (whom I saw on the way up AND on the way back down), oodles of people, and one scrawny (illegally hiking!) dog. We had lots of rain last weekend, and ample snow on the mountains, so the creek was flowing and the sound of the water babbling over the rocks was exactly what I needed to tune out the television jingles that have been taking up precious space in my noggin.
Lately I have been having trouble sleeping. Part of it goes back to being alone, and missing my Andrew who is supposed to be a warm furnace cuddling next to me. The other part is my brain. I can’t seem to stop it from whirring. Here is a typical hour or two while I attempt to fall asleep: “I’m really tired, I should get some sleep!” Whirrrrrrrrrr. “How are we going to be able to ever afford a farm?” Whirrrrrrrrrr. “Wait, but if we own a farm, how can we ever travel?” Whirrrrrrrrrrr. “This book I’m reading says you should start farming NOW on whatever land is available.” Whirrrrrr. “Maybe I should move to Seattle and start there?” Whirrrrrrrrrr. “I’M REALLY TIRED! Why isn’t this wine and/or melatonin kicking in?” Whirrrrrrrrrrrrr. “Why the heck did the cat poop on the rug?” Whirrrrrrrrrrr. “What time is Grandma’s doctor appointment tomorrow? Whirrrrrrrrr. And so on, ad nauseam.
I have had some really good days though, don’t despair my friends! My pal Adam came out for a three-day visit, and lucky for me he treated me to the movies, dinner, and drinks. We met up with another pal who is living here and had a real night on the town. He also brought me a Christmas gift of FOUR “you can farm!” books, which I am inhaling. Hence the farm-based whirring mentioned above. By the way, if any of you savvy, connected readers of mine know where we can get some awesome small, organic farming experience, do tell! We will work for rent and food!
I have also been spending wonderful time with my grandmother, and even played chauffer to my 88-year-old nanny who joined Grams and me for a lunch date. I also hang out with the neighbor Sally, who in her mid-70s is the young’un of the bunch. She has a sweet little dog named Twink (I couldn’t bring myself to explain why I giggled when she first told me this). Sally has been a godsend, as she frequently visits my grandmother and always brings her fresh flowers from her garden.
I have only a few more days before I fly up to Seattle to be with the love of my life and my wonderful new family for 10 short days. The whirring, worrying part of my brain keeps flashing forward to the point when I will have to stay goodbye again. I must do what I can to stay in the present, and try and make the time stretch out as long as possible. I will start by looking forward to tomorrow, because Grams and I are getting pedicures! I’m not sure if she understands this whole apocalypse drama (nor do I, really), but I think scheduling pedicures on the “last day of the world” is a little bit defiant. The world is ending? Well, at least my toes will look fabulous! I’m not excited for the pain my newly acquired blisters are sure to bring, but I wouldn’t trade them (or my solitary hike) for anything!